#self-motivation isn't about rejecting connection

[anneapocalypse]

Tired of the false dichotomy between "you should create for yourself without desiring any form of connection" and "feedback is everything and without it there's no reason to create." Neither of these things are wholly true, and it's frustrating to me that people have taken "create for yourself" to mean "you shouldn't want feedback or enjoy it, you should create in a vacuum with no hope of human connection" and are lashing back against what they think it's saying rather than what it's actually saying. I love comments and feedback and connecting with my readers as much as anyone and would never discount the value of that experience and I try to be the kind of engaged reader I would want to have because I know how much it means. I especially know how much it means to a niche creator because I've been that creator myself and I so treasure the readers who took a chance, gave my stuff a try, and stopped to say something supportive about it.

But that's also exactly the thing: the things I want to write are often things that do not in any way guarantee me an audience, but they're what I enjoy, and creating for myself is what gets me through those long first drafts where I know there is no guarantee of an audience because the reality is I'm choosing to write this thing and nobody owes me a readership. Internal motivation matters because there are parts of the creative process where internal motivation is all you have. I've seen people give up or nearly give up on projects that probably would have found an audience, if a niche one, because they convinced themselves that nobody would care and then couldn't motivate themselves to care. Or they decided that a small audience wasn't good enough; they need their work to be Popular or it was worth nothing.

And if someone doesn't want to invest themselves in creating something that might have a small audience, well, that's their choice. But creativity is inherently an act of risk, and a lot of amazing art would never be made if the creator wasn't willing to risk silence, rejection, loneliness. Yeah, those things suck. I'm not saying they don't, that's why it's a risk. But art isn't always about safety. Sometimes it's about creating because you simply have to get this thing out of your head, and you hope someone will connect with it, but you don't know until you try. So everything can't be external motivation. It just can't be. It's too limiting, it's too stifling. I can't live that way, personally.

[piracytheorist]

I'm rewatching the Yor learning to cook episode and it's just SO fucking good you guys. Not only the episode itself but the way its storyline is presented.

I've seen people react to jokes about Yor's cooking with a "but she's getting better at it!" and while I understand that reaction, the thing is, she doesn't have to get better, and the narrative itself is perfectly fine with her being at best mediocre at cooking. Yor's bad cooking is used to explain her low confidence, but it makes perfect sense when you consider the misogyny in the era she grew up and lives in. But aside from one comment Anya made to deflect, and involuntary reactions to her food that they can't actually help, neither her nor Loid actually judge Yor for her cooking nor do they demand more from her. It's just accepted that Loid will cook as part of his share of the chores and no-one even spares a second thought about it. In fact, the main reason Yor worried about her skill is because she believed Loid spent an entire day in the bathroom because of the breakfast she made, so she wanted to learn better because she wanted to avoid giving them food poisoning.

Of course, this does tie in with her job, where she's trained to kill in cold blood, and with the world around her, who perceives women not only as less valuable than men but also defines them in strict patriarchal terms, one of which is that the wife cooks and she must do it well too. So even though her bad skills don't worry her too much about her worth, it's unavoidable that it will affect her and I think it's important that the story itself takes that into consideration.

And I just wanna point out how it's actually good that the narrative adds a humorous tone to just how bad her cooking is, because while it does make a reference that her low self confidence is because of the sexism she's faced in her life... the humor isn't sexist. Try and flip the genders here. A story of a straight couple (fake or real married) where the woman cooks well and the man is a horrid cook would make no-one bat an eyelash if it simply poked fun at how bad the man's cooking is. Again, without any comments about the character's worth based on his cooking, just that whenever he's in the kitchen, there's usually a bloodbath one way or another.

It's the same exact presentation with Yor! The narrative takes away gender roles and simply pokes fun at her bad cooking, in the same way stories poke fun at characters failing at any random skill. Like we have the word "himbo" as an affectionate term for a male character who's kind but very stupid but god forbid we love a kind female character who is equally incompetent in something. We only find it sexist because we were also conditioned to think that only women cook well and that it's a woman's responsibility to cook for her family and do it well and as we grew we rejected that expectation. The story actually subverts the sexism of that and it says "Yes this woman's cooking is absolute shit and we love her for that."

And it's all solidified with how the story resolves: Yor makes a good dish, and Loid and Anya praise her for it. But it's not in a "you get a good grade in wife" way, it's a "we appreciate this meal you made for us". Yor feels happy because her creation made them smile. She offered them something that they never demanded of her, and it made them feel good. It's about human connection, all over again, that someone's efforts to offer to their fellow human were rewarded with pride and gratitude. It's especially touching that the dish Yor made was something from her own childhood, something that brought warmth to her too.

It's also important to remember that another motivation in the whole thing is that Yor and Loid want the public to think their marriage is real and not worthy of gossip - which is why Yor mentions that she was worried about getting in trouble in regards to her assassin work; her reason to get into that deal in the first place was for cover for that work. The better and more conventional their presentation, the more solid their cover. That's why she mentions at the end that she feels more confident as the wife and mother of the family; it's the fact that she now has something to use for their cover. Say she's talking with someone and the conversation veers towards cooking. Before, if she was asked about her cooking, she would have to say she doesn't cook or her family hates her cooking, and she would worry about getting judged, like Swan judged her. Or she would have to lie, something we know she's not very good at. Now she can at least say "Oh they love my stew!" as the perfect answer because it's simple, clear and also true. So again there's definitely an element of her confidence being low due to the society's sexist worldview. But in this case it's also, and actually more, her worrying about being reported due to not fulfilling her "gender role" sufficiently.

(anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[bookshelfdreams]

There were two great posts about Izzy yesterday, and I would like to expand on and add my 2 ct to the things said in them a little. One, by @celluloidbroomcloset (with additions by several others), about how Izzy immediately falls back into old patterns of manipulative behaviour after his supposed redemption in 02x07, only this time with Stede as the focus of said behaviours instead of Ed. The other, by @batsarebetterthanpeople, about how Izzy's behaviour in 02x06 and onward is more akin to the development a homophobe coming around to a queer loved one, than an arc of queer self-discovery.

Izzy's story isn't about himself. I think this is the first, fundamental mistake people make when engaging with it. He's not a protagonist; he doesn't exist in the story for his own sake. So when ofmd asks "How to reform a toxic person? What does it look like and is it even possible?", the starting point isn't one of empathy with Izzy.

It's one of empathy with Ed. ofmd is asking these questions not because it wants to understand Izzy better. What it wants to explore is the possibility of Ed having the relationship with Izzy Ed wants. Whether Izzy can be brought around to understanding Ed's wants and needs, whether he can understand the hurt he caused him.

This is a fundamentally different approach to how these stories are usually told. Usually, we start out with the unspoken assumption that the toxic person is well-intentioned, good at heart, and whatever pain they caused our protagonist is more akin to a misunderstanding than deliberate harm. Yes, they may have have caused hurt, but if you just see things from their perspective, you'll understand that they only had your best interest in mind, and that will enable you to forgive them.

Obviously this can't not veer off into victim blaming. "The abuser had a good reason for what they did, and therefore, it's your own fault. Or at the very least not theirs."

ofmd fundamentally rejects this. It is very careful to never let the bullies and abusers have a valid point. Abusers are abusive because they get something out of it. To truly reform an abuser, they would have to be willing to build a life for themselves that is a lot less comfortable. Where they have to consider other's feelings, communicate and compromise, meet other people on equal footing, instead of putting themselves in a position of authority. It means letting go of patterns of behaviour that they have so far been quite successful with*.

And Izzy - tries. He is interesting because part of him clearly wants to leave the toxicity behind. He gets to see what positive relationships, human connection, being part of a community look like; he's offered an outstretched hand, and, after biting it a few times, tentatively starts to take it.

But he can't quite get there. The temptation to fall back into what he knows is too strong. celluloidbroomcloset's post linked above talks mainly about 02x07, so I'm not gonna repeat all that, but I'm going to add two little scenes from 02x06 that further cement this. In the beginning of the episode, Izzy finds Ed as he's standing on deck, watching the sea, and the conversation that plays out is a clear mirror to, almost repeat of the Frankfurter clouds scene from 01x04. Ed tries to share an observation with Izzy in an attempt to reach out to him ("Something's wrong. Feels like a storm's coming but I can't see it."), which Izzy, of course, immediately dismisses ("Or maybe you're just a mopey twat and there is no fucking storm").

The second scene is, when Izzy is the only one discouraging Ed from following Stede to his cabin after he kills Ned Lowe. Discouraging support, discouraging connection and emotional honesty; Izzy will continue to try to isolate Stede.

Now, I do not think this, or the things happening in 02x07, are put in there deliberately to show that Izzy has ulterior motives. Rather, they are an illustration of how deep these maladaptive patterns of behaviour go. Izzy isn't able to fully admit to himself the extend of the harm he caused and this is what prevents him from truly changing his behaviour - even when he has just experienced the benefits of a loving, supportive community!

All of this is the explanation to the answer the show gives to our starting question: Is it possible for Ed to have the relationship with Izzy that Ed wants? And the answer is: No. Just because growth is possible, doesn't mean it is enough. Doesn't mean anyone's entitled to forgiveness. Sometimes, the only compassionate thing to do, is to take yourself permanently out of the other person's life.

But Izzy did learn, and he did grow. It's just that the purpose of said growth wasn't to heal him; it was to enable him to understand the hurt he caused to Ed. That doesn't have to mean people like Izzy can never be reformed, it just means that this isn't a story about the reformation of a toxic person. It's the story of leaving this toxicity behind.

And this is why Izzy's heartfelt apology followed by his immediate death is a positive ending. It represents the conviction that no relationship is so broken it can't be mended, but also the assurance that no relationship is so important it can't be ended.

Ed gets to hear the things he needs to hear most - I am sorry, I was wrong, you didn't deserve this - and then Izzy disappears from his life, and with him, all the toxicity he represents.

They can part on good terms, but part they must. So Ed can go into the rest of his life, unburdened.

*read Lundy Bancroft's "Why does he do that", seriously. The whole thing is on archive.org.

[thedomesticanthropologist]

You know how we all kind of collectively agreed that astarian is jealous if you sleep with someone who isn't him and I just kept on rolling that around in my head because in the very beginning he doesn't like you

And he wants to secure a safe place in the group, but if you listen to the dialogue he tries with every companion before you, and he gets rejected.

Oddly enough, he also tries with Alfira, who can objectively offer him nothing and I wanted to expand on my thoughts about that.

I think it all ties into him believing that he has nothing to offer except for his body, except for sex. It's the number one way that he feels he can communicate with others positively, it's the only way he knows how to make a connection because he doesn't actually know how to make meaningful connections.

And most importantly above and beyond all else, he says it's his instinct. And when he says it's his instinct he scoffs and makes a disgusted face and looks upward and away. It's a knee-jerk reaction for him. And he's not a very good planner, we know that. But I think there's a lot to be said for the fact that he does this not only because he thinks it's going to serve him (get him safety, loyalty) but also because he has been so thoroughly trained to initiate these types of encounters that when he feels neutral towards someone or even slightly positive or they are attractive or any sort of thing that would have been a cue for him in his past to go after attempting Target - he just sort of automatically goes for it.

Let me backtrack to my original point about the jealousy. Since he thinks that sex is all that he is good for which he specifically States in his confession if you pick certain dialogue options, then at the point in the game where you haven't an initiated a romance with anyone else he is trying to give you, the player, the only thing he has that he believes has any value. Even if you have an unsuccessful relationship with him he later on says that he believes that it was worth it for you because you got to have sex with a world-endingly beautiful vampire so he does believe that he is giving you something of value.

No imagine him offering up to the player the only thing he thinks has any value at all, his only bargaining chip, literally the only thing that he thinks would make him have or provide worth, and then he's rejected. Not only that, but he's rejected in favor of another companion that he can already most likely identify has more to give than he does.

I don't think he was jealous at all. I think that this was a huge blow to his self-worth or what little is left of it. And please don't take that as a reason to make yourself romance him I'm trying to do a character analysis here, based on his personal motivations. By not taking him up on his offer, he can't use his only "chip" in the bedding pool and is immediately forced to figure out different tactics to survive.

So yeah, I don't think it had anything to do with jealousy in the very beginning. I think it was just the beginning of him figuring out that he's no longer playing the game that he's always played or rather that he can't.

[theredhairedmonkey]

Don’t you think that when Callum says “Rayla loves me, this version of myself,” and then conversation gets reframed around Rayla as the reason Callum is doing dark magic, this hints as to why he ultimately does dark magic in the finale?

I think this is honestly a great example of how confirmation bias works in practice. It’s really more of a Hail Mary for the “Callum does everything for Rayla” crowd.

Here’s the conversation Callum has - Dark Callum presents a utilitarian argument: "Only I can save them all... but only if you give up your sense of right and wrong." When Callum responds by bringing up Rayla's love for his moral self, he's using this as evidence for why he shouldn't compromise his principles - not as his primary motivation.

Think about it like this: If someone says "I won't rob a bank because my spouse loves me for being honest," they're not saying "I only stay honest because of my spouse." They're saying their spouse's love affirms and supports their existing moral principles. It's evidence for why their principles are worth maintaining, not the source of those principles.

Dark Callum then tries to twist this by suggesting Callum should compromise his values for love. But Callum's final response is telling - he explicitly rejects this frame and broadens the scope: "There is a way out of this, with good people doing courageous things. Humans, elves, dragons, doing what's right!" This isn't about saving Rayla; it's about believing in collective moral action.

We can’t ignore this explicit rejection and the actual content of Callum's final statement. It's like reading someone saying "I won't compromise my principles, even for love" and interpreting it as "Everything I do is motivated by love."

And in the end, Rayla isn’t the reason Callum changes course. Once Akiyu is killed and Viren’s staff is left behind, there’s only one way to stop Aaravos and save the world, and Callum is forced to take it, but he ONLY takes it knowing that he’ll die in the end. Thats how important his principles are, he’ll break them - because it’s a matter of his death or everyone else’s.

Bear in mind, Runaan is there with Callum for all of it, and sees Callum formulate this plan and concludes “he has a good heart. He would do anything to save this world.” Coming from someone who was skeptical of Callum, and of humans, and dark magic, seeing him come all the way back around to this conclusion speaks volumes.

Granted, I’m sure there are people who will read this and think “but Rayla’s love shouldn’t have been a factor at all.” To them, it seems like nothing short of Callum being a spectral force comparable to the First Elves who commits to abstract moral principles solely for their own sake and not any personal reasons would permit them to say that Callum is in any way being “good.”.

In reality, moral decisions rarely come from pure abstract principles alone. What makes someone "good" isn't the complete absence of personal motivations, but rather how they integrate their personal connections and moral principles.

In Callum's case, his love for Rayla reinforces rather than compromises his moral principles. When he cites her love for his moral self, he's acknowledging that their relationship is built on shared values. It's not that he's good only because Rayla loves him - rather, Rayla loves him in part because of his goodness, and this helps strengthen his resolve to maintain those principles.

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Analysis of the Trials

The Witches' Road holds four trials, each meant to test the four types of witches that traditionally make up a coven. The trials change the appearance of the coven to match the rooms, and the rooms match the witch who is most being tested in that trial. Despite the big twist regarding the Road (and excluding Rio given she wasn't present for hers), I wanted to analyze the symbolism of the trial setups and what they revealed for each of the witches.

Potions ~ The first trial tested Jen, with the room being set as a modern getaway beach house. It was sleek and pristine, the outfits of the coven were tastefully stylish, and the trial even executed itself by having them do a wine party; it was quite classy to say the least. From what we see of Jen, she's very high-class in her fashion choices as well as her general presentation, and personality-wise she sees herself as a cut above the rest. I believe Jen herself tries to emulate this with her candle business; ultimately though, the business is a bit of a sham that fraudulently copies the all-natural luxury aesthetic. Similarly, as the trials progress we see that Jen can be very crass, selfish and not very "poised"; so, not as classy as she let's on. I believe the reason Jen goes through all this effort is to compensate for her lost magic after being bound. Embracing the high-status markers of regular human society is her way of trying to feel powerful since she can't do so anymore in the world of magic. As a result, the trial formed itself to represent what Jen wants on a surface level, and Jen does take a liking to it, but unlike with Alice and Lilia she doesn't get the personal development the others got. This shiny, rich aesthetic isn't what she truly wants; Jen wants her power back, real power, and no cheap imitation of luxury will replace the severity of that loss. It's not until she experiences true covenhood that she's able to be a witch again.

Protection ~ The second trial was Alice's, set within a 70's-style music production studio where the coven wore corresponding clothing. The 70's was when her mother Lorna started going around touring music and creating the Ballad (the beginning of the end for Lorna). Music was what her mother was all about, and despite Alice's tumultuous relationship with her witch lineage, the Ballad was what connected the two after Lorna's passing. Alice's motivation for coming to the Road was to find out what happened to her mother, so the room presented itself as though it was a physical representation of Lorna herself. To complete the trial Alice had to confront her family's curse as opposed to something more objective, and once she realized the curse was spreading to the others in the coven, her urge to protect them led to her finally utilizing the magic and music of Lorna that she had long since rejected, gaining more understanding of her inner power as she progressed. Where Alice initially entered the room with caution and fear, she came to fully embrace the spirit of the trial, of Lorna, so wholeheartedly that fire plumed from her sheer spiritual power, and she was able to end her family's curse. Alice got what she needed from the Road, she got her closure, while finally accepting being both a Protection witch, and the daughter of Lorna Wu.

Divinations ~ Finally, Lilia. Her room was a medieval castle setup (I believe in the comics it's stated Lilia came from royalty, and her younger self is shown in a time period that could've have these style castles). The tarot card trial was a test of her divination, with the gravity-flipped sequence was a testament to the element of air and the unbound fluid nature of divination itself. The outfits in this room were the first to not consistently match the room setting (Maleficent lived in a castle like this, but not Glinda), as everyone was dressed in caricaturized witch costumes. I have a more in depth analysis on the possible indications of the costumes regarding Lilia in this post, but the main idea is that each costume held some representational relevance to the witch wearing it, and the caricature-ish nature was a reflection of Lilia's self-view as well as an opportunity for her to reclaim negative stereotyping around herself. Lilia accurately reading herself through tarot in order to understand her own nature was I'd argue the most impactful show of self-actualization and growth in the entire story, with both the setup and costumes representing Lilia's life in some way, and her journey being about accepting the chaotic nature of her trial as it is a reflection of herself, and only by accepting herself is she able to find ultimate fulfillment and harmony.

[temis-de-leon]

New Exchange Student - Magda

Based on my Replaced MC AU/AU Series where the brothers are the ones being replaced, this is one of the NESs (fem!MC x fem!NES).

This is more info about her adding to what I already described and posted in the Replaced MC AU/AU Masterlist.

Main Masterlist

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Full name: Magdalena Caballero

Birthday: September 25

Likes: Autumn nights

Dislikes: Mammon

After being summoned to the Devildom, her strongest motivation is placing herself on top of the food chain. It's an act of survival, but then it becomes a fun pastime, especially when the other human in the house plays along so willingly.

Their friendship is comfortable and fun and it quickly evolves into a playful situationship; and then Magda starts catching feelings and sharing the bed isn't "nothing" anymore.

She refuses to confess, because why risk what little she has when she can just daydream? And also, the humiliation of being rejected just like the brothers had been is a real possibility that she won't accept.

Friends:

Besides MC, the only one Magda has been able to connect to is, horrifyingly, Levi. Despite being a loser who proudly presents himself as an otaku, he's loyal to his friends and himself and every self-hate he feels is driven by envy, his sin, and Magda understands that deeply. She's willing to put his nonsensical rantings aside and she may even defend him from those so-called "normies".

She also hangs out with Asmo from time to time for some partying, but it tends to be a superficial arrangement.

Mammon:

He gets the special treatment, but not the good kind. His greed and her commitment issues don't connect well. They both fight daily for MC's attention and, while it's Magda who has a "deeper" relationship with them, Mammon is the one willing to profess his love. It's a true shame, because they could work together to scam people like professionals.

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I'll make more posts like this one for the other NESs. If you want to know more about her (or them), don't hesitate to ask!

🩷🩷

[pynkhues]

A lot of people think Louis' persona during his "Prince of Iberville" years is not his authentic self and completely OOC. And subsequently that he returns to it with Armand as a coping mechanism instead due to transactional nature of that relationship (Louis starting his "companionship" with Armand as a way to shield Claudia. @dhampirdulac on twt has a few threads on the topic).

Can we hear your thoughts on this? I've seen you mention in the tags that you have other views.

...did Louis start his companionship with Armand as a way to shield Claudia? I don't know if I agree with that at all, rather I interpret it as coming back to what Claudia says to him in 2.02 which is that he doesn't know who he is without Lestat and outside of her. He's spent the last three episodes trying to pursue photography and getting very passionately interested in art and has just that episode been shut down by a gallery owner who won't stage his work.

He makes excuses with Dreamstat - that he can't sit down with a subject because he'll eat them (not true, he worked with mortals for years at The Azaelia, and made genuine, albeit brief, mortal connections in the shelters of Eastern Europe without eating them), the lens is dirty, he's impatient - the latter two probably are true, but that's the thing about art, right? Being a successful artist is less about talent than it is about persistence, which is hard when the creation of art requires vulnerability, and the rejection of that art can feel a rejection of the self.

Louis' seeking not just validation but identity, and Armand floundering at controlling the Coven offers Louis a way back to a part of himself. As he says it, he used to be (and proves to still be) very good at running things, and that is a part of him from before Lestat and Claudia. He holds to it as something that is true of himself. Is it all of him? No, of course not, Louis' a million things, it's what makes him interesting as a character, but he's always been professionally ambitious and I think to deny that part of him is to deny his story. His whole NOLA arc is about the fact that Louis is forced to settle for a secondclass seat at the table when what he really wants to be the head of his own table. He wants power and autonomy and freedom. What's disingenous about him in that era is that Louis has to play submissive and pander to the white men who are a fraction as intelligent, ambitious, capable as he is because it's the only way he can get his leg in.

He, as a character, wants to be respected, he wants to be seen and not just heard, but listened to. I think his relationship with art is something that's really fascinating and I could write a lot about that, but in terms of this question in particular, I think he saw art as a way forward for him and when it left him treading water, he felt crushed by it. His photography's not very good because Louis doesn't have anything to say, he doesn't have an artistic rationale, and he's deliberately been creating distance between himself and everyone around him as a means of emotional survival. How can you capture something artistically that you're refusing to engage with? It's not a coincidence that the best picture he takes is when he's trying to take one of Lestat.

Keeping things casual with Armand was, I think, partially motivated by trying to live a bohemian lifestyle, and making things official wasn't about shielding Claudia. It wasn't about Claudia at all, that's the point, as she says it. It's never about her. It was about slipping back into a job he knows he's good at to give himself a sense of identity, trying to let go of Lestat, and regain control not over Armand, but himself, and affiliate himself with power. If he's dominant over the only person who gets to have a genuine voice in the Coven, isn't that as good as having a voice of his own? And it's that that's disingenous, the idea that he'd ever be happy puppet mastering someone else - - that's not Louis' character. Louis wants to feel professionally fulfilled but he doesn't actually give a fuck about the Theatres des Vampires, and he certainly doesn't give a fuck about the Coven. In fact, he actively dislikes both.

He's tried doing something he was passionate about, has given up when he wasn't immediately good at it, and now is putting himself in a position to run a business he doesn't care about just because he knows he's good at it and it gives him some semblance of a sense of purpose again. The Theatre is not The Azaelia, and that is what I'd say leaves Louis cold.

And look, I actually do think in this early stage of their relationship, there is genuine affection between Louis and Armand too, and I think Louis likes that Armand needs him. Louis wants and needs family around him, and Claudia's pulling away while Armand's desperate to get closer, and I think there's something to Louis trying to let Lestat go that shows his companionship with Armand isn't purely transactional. He wants to move forward, but he's going backwards with pale versions of things that were once important to him - again, the Theatres is not The Azaelia, and Armand is not Lestat.

[snackleggg]

Keith & Lotor parallels going burr in my brain.

The fact that the reason they turned out so different in the end was that Keith found a support system while Lotor was completely alone (both due to the actions of the people around him and his own baggage later on)

Father wise, Keith's dad was obviously a good loving parent to him from the little we see. He was a genuinely good guy and had a positive impact on who Keith is even if he wasn't around in his life for long. Meanwhile, Zarkon was neglectful at best, he was heartless and caused untold amounts of emotional and psychological harm to Lotor growing up.

Mentor wise, Keith ended up having Shiro who became like a brother to him. Though we don't see alot of it, from the flashbacks we do get its obvious Shiro took on a parental role in Keith's life after he joined the Garrison. Meanwhile, Lotor's governess was painted as a cold and distant figure. She could've filled a parental role since she was presumably the adult that spent the most time around him but that wasn't her duty, her job was to educate Lotor and the Omega Shield episode shows us she does that using pain as a motivator (which isn't great considering Lotor was like 6 or something when he started learning from her)

Friends wise, Keith is equals with the other paladins. They're peers and while Keith may have been a little closed off to start he obviously opens up to them and trusts them with his life. Meanwhile, there is obviously a divide between Lotor and his generals. They respect him but there is this distance between them. He's not their peer, he's their Prince. He doesn't tell them his full plan or clue them in on his goals, he just gives orders and expects them to follow. It's why his team fell apart and betrayed him, a contrast to how Voltron is built on trust. At this point in his life, Lotor's lack of connection is no longer a direct result of negligence of the adults around him (though their negligence in his formative years is a factor) but instead is caused by his own self sabotaging and inability to trust anyone. Keith does sabotage his relationship with the paladins a little when he becomes unreliable to the team and then leaves for the Blade but he comes back to them and they have a stronger bond than ever (forever insane about the fact that the rift between Keith and the others started because he was late to missions, and when he took up the mantle of the black paladin again he unlocked an ability that let him make it to the fight against Lotor on time to save them. The parallels man)

Mother wise, boy where do I start. Neither of them knew their mothers and both were obviously desperate for closure when it comes to these missing figures in their lives. Keith seeks it through joining the Blades while Lotor seeks it by becoming obsessed with his altean heritage. Krolia & Honerva both care deeply for their sons but where Krolia express this in a healthy way, choosing to protect her son and leave him where he could grow up safe even if it was at the cost of having a relationship with him, Honerva becomes obsessed with having a relationship with Lotor even when he rejects her and even going as far as tearing the multiverse apart for it.

Also the contrast between how Lotor dealt with Narti being used as Haggar's puppet vs Keith's fight with clone Shiro really gets the difference between their characters across. The moment Lotor figures it out, he immediately kills her. It does seem like it's a difficult decision for him in the moment but he still does it in the end and seemingly doesn't take any time to explain to the other generals why he did it, expecting them to blindly follow him like always. Meanwhile Keith never gives up on the possibility of getting Shiro back. Even when it separates him from the team, puts his own life in danger, even when he's falling to his probable death he never let's go of Shiro. Its because of that they had a body to be able to bring Shiro back.

[i-will-change-this-someday]

My thoughts on Frankenstein:

(This is incredibly long)

Victor is definitely autistic or something right?

It’s honestly shocking to me how much of the book was just describing the scenery.

Also, because I self project constantly, Victor seems kinda Ace to me, maybe Aro with a QPR with Henry, but that might be actual romance.

Kinda surprised that no one ever stops Victor to ask why he’s collecting so many body parts, they’re just like “eh, Victor’s experimenting on corpses again, I guess.”

Absolutely wild for Caroline to adopt a child for the sole purpose of “gifting” her to her son.

I wish I could be motivated in to a hyper-focused frenzy where I actually complete my projects, maybe not for 2 years though.

Alright time for all my unpopular opinions. (this will likely be very long)

Y'all are babygirl-ifying the Creature way too much. My dude murdered at least 4 people. (Technically murdered 3 and framed the 4th for murder.)

Hey, remember when the Creature murdered a child? Yeah, that happened.

Or when he framed a woman for murder, knowing full well what would likely happen to her? (The Creature didn't even know she had any connection to Victor, he fully decided to frame her because of the idea that she would reject him)

or when he murdered 2 people just because Victor cared about them?

I'm not saying the the Creature isn't sympathetic, and it really is unfair that everyone shuns him, but that doesn't mean he gets a "Murder innocents" pass.

On a similar note, and this is maybe just me, but Victor is way more sympathetic than anyone gives him credit for.

When he made the Creature he was a dumb kid that was messing with things he really shouldn't have, but he was grieving his mother and coping very poorly.

So he thinks "what if I could bring her back?" or at least "Maybe I can prevent losing anyone else" so he tries """Playing God""" but it's not because he has a god complex, he's mourning a loss and is doing anything to not think about it while also trying something that might prevent such loss in the future.

I do think he's a bit self-centered, but not in a "I'm superior" way , more in a "Why is this happening to me?" way that makes him forget others' perspectives or how his actions may affect them.

I don't think he's always thinking about how every other person is dumber than him or how great he is.

I do think he has a very strong desire to have his achievements seen and known, because for quite a while everyone dismissed his interests. (Which, just saying, can really do some damage on a kid)

Should Victor not have abandoned the Creature? Yes, but he also didn’t exactly have the mental or emotional capacity to care for the Creature at that time.

When the Creature awoke, Victor was faced with the reality of what he was doing; he wasn’t bringing someone back to life, he was creating something else entirely, so he ran. And afterwards the Creature was gone, and then Victor had a psychotic break for like several months. He wasn’t really in peak parent mode then.

(Side tangent, but any of those “I wouldn’t run from the Creature” people are absolutely lying, you’re really going to react calmly to a 8ft shambling monster made from dead bodies?)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying Victor is entirely innocent, but there's a lot of things that he get's blamed for that were not his fault.

Not one of the deaths in the book are Victor's fault.

William died because he screamed and revealed his family name, so the Creature killed him to hurt Victor.

Justine died because the Creature framed her because he thought she would reject him and because she was pressured in to pleading guilty.

Henry died because the Creature wanted to hurt Victor.

Elizabeth died because the Creature wanted to hurt Victor.

If you think any of those deaths are Victor's fault, then you're victim blaming.

Yes, the Creature likely wouldn't have done any of that had Victor not ran, but you know what else would have prevented those deaths? If the Creature didn't kill them.

The Creature is an incredibly intelligent being, by the time he kills William he has learned enough to properly frame a woman for murder.

You can not say he accidentally killed William, he knows what death is.

He didn't accidentally frame Justine for said murder.

He didn't just so happen to kill Henry because he got caught off guard by him.

He wasn't looking for Victor to kill on the wedding day.

He chose to kill every single one of them, and to put all the blame on Victor is unfair to Victor and the Creature.

The Creature is his own person, which means he also needs to be held responsible for his actions.

You can understand and sympathize with the Creature, but that doesn't mean he's infallible.

The Creature has every right to be mad at the world, his first experience in the world is being abandoned by the one who gave him life, and then he is constantly shunned, feared, and hated for the rest of his life, it's not right.

But that doesn't mean you murder people, or if he had to, he should have killed Victor, the person that actually wronged him.

And listen, I understand every minority feels a kinship with the Creature, but for me, there's something about Victor that is so unbearably relatable.

The thing about Victor is that he has people that care for him, but none of them understand him in the slightest, even Henry, he may love Victor but I don't think he really understood him all the time.

So you have Victor, who has people who care for him and who he cares for in return, trying his best to act normal, to pretend there's nothing wrong.

He's trying so, so hard not to worry the people he cares for, but on the inside he's miserable, paranoid, and overall just incredibly mentally unwell.

And that is something that is just so intriguing to me. (Not saying the Creature isn't also very nuanced and complex, just that Victor scratches some itch in my brain.)

Anyway, this is already very long, I honestly have more I could say about it, but this is good for now.

[kamiversee]

I just read The F*ck List again. And, I've got to break the reader and Gojo down before i lose it, pookie.

Starting with Gojo..

Gojo isn’t some unflappable, all-powerful being pulling the strings for his own amusement; he, too, is manipulated. The fact that he’s coerced into using the reader as a pawn adds a significant emotional and psychological depth to his actions. Sukuna's involvement, leveraging Gojo’s secret journal with its deeply personal, shameful content, strips Gojo of his autonomy in a way that's rarely seen.

Gojo, who often seems invincible and self-assured, is revealed to be vulnerable here. His entire confidence is built on an illusion of control, and Sukuna pulls the rug from under him by threatening to expose his darkest secrets. The reader becomes an unwilling part of Gojo's struggle with his own shame, making his actions not just about manipulating the reader but also about survival. This additional layer of manipulation makes Gojo more sympathetic, it wasn’t just his choice to do this to the reader. He was forced, driven by fear of losing his power, his dignity, and control over the situation. He’s cornered into playing the villain for a greater threat.

Now, about the reader's role.

If Gojo was manipulated into coercing the reader, then the reader, too, is a pawn in a much larger game. The stakes are raised, what was initially portrayed as Gojo’s cruel manipulation now becomes a consequence of external pressure. The reader’s actions in response to Gojo’s coercion reflect their own struggle with autonomy and agency. They are, in a way, both trapped by Gojo's manipulations and by Sukuna’s indirect control.

But this doesn’t absolve the reader of their own complicity. They still make choices, whether consciously or unconsciously, that determine their path. The manipulation is multifaceted, Gojo isn't merely a puppet-master, and the reader isn't simply an innocent bystander. They're all part of a web spun by Sukuna, Gojo, and their own desires and actions.

What the ending made me realise.

The ending is crucial. The reader chooses Choso, without fully understanding Gojo’s motivations. This choice speaks volumes about the reader’s growth or resistance. It suggests that despite all the manipulation and emotional turmoil, the reader still has a strong sense of self or at least a connection to something more genuine, something real. Choso represents the opposite of the manipulative forces in the story, he’s a figure of raw emotional truth, someone who, perhaps, can offer the reader a different kind of relationship, one not based on control or coercion.

Choosing Choso over Gojo (who, at the end of the day, manipulated the reader) could be a subconscious rejection of the cycle of manipulation they were trapped in. It represents a breaking free from the forces that sought to control them. But here's where the rawness comes in: the reader doesn’t fully understand why they make this choice. They’ve been so manipulated, so influenced by forces beyond their control, that when it comes time to make their own decision, it's driven more by instinct than reason.

The reader’s journey (to me) is tragic but also empowering. They’re manipulated by Gojo, coerced into performing acts they might not have chosen, yet in the end, they assert their will, albeit in a way that’s not entirely clear to them. The lack of clarity about why they choose Choso suggests that the reader’s real struggle was with finding themselves, growing into the person who could make that choice in the first place.

(I don't know if this lil analysis aligns with what you were going for, but i just had to send my thoughts, even though I've held back for awhile because of how nervous I've felt about it.🥹)

-🤡

AAAH I LOVE UUUU 🤡NONNIEEE.

This analysis is so simple yet so well conducted, I love it. I think it aligns almost perfectly, if not better than, the theme I went for with TFL.

TFL is a story of manipulation & toxicity, and I loved how you picked up on that with this. I’m like, at a loss for words because you’ve simplified it all in the best way. 🥹

Thank you sm for sharing this with me! I hope my future fics can resonate with you just as well. <33

[maspers]

Ranking the Miracucast by how they'd react to being chosen as the next holder of One For All

Marinette: She would scream and cry and do everything in her power to avoid becoming the next Symbol of Peace. She would then proceed to be one of the most beloved and powerful Heroes the world has ever seen. 9/10

Alya: Depends on when she gets the Quirk. Early Seasons Alya is all about fame and branding, and she'd be loved by the populace as a hero but make a decent amount of rookie mistakes. Late Seasons Alya would be way more competent as a One For All user, but she also knows how to keep things subtle. I can see her becoming an Underground Hero like Eraserhead. Either way, 7/10

Adrien: Yes. 10/10

Nino: He would be very confused as to why he's being chosen, but if his friends were in danger he'd do it. Would much prefer to focus on his music than hero work, and as such would be known for the former more than the latter. 3/10

Chloe: She would try so, so, so hard to be the ultimate superhero that everyone loves. Unfortunately we saw how that went down in canon. She has the potential to great things, but motives will always be a serious problem for her. 4/10

Sabrina: Getting One For All might be what it takes to get her out of her shell. She'd never reach the fame and reputation that All Might and Deku have, but she would treat her powers with utmost respect and very few people would have bad things to say about her as a hero. 7/10

Mylene: She would be very confused, and very scared, and honestly would probably reject the Quirk outright. If forced to take it she'd be great, but I just can't see her wanting to hold on to it. She prefers to change the world in other ways. 3/10

Ivan: Everyone would doubt him due to making assumptions, but he would surpass them all and come into his own as a beloved and respected hero, albeit one that's pretty intimidating. He wouldn't really focus on quirks other than the super strength, but hey, it worked for All Might! 8/10

Rose: Be afraid. Be very afraid. 6/10

Juleka: Guaranteed to be more of the Underground hero type. Possibly might go full vigilante. She would use the Quirks very differently than most would expect, so people won't make the connection to past One For All holders. She does not want to have a body count, but definitely has one. 6/10

Kim: Kim is a total doofus who would immediately gain a rep as a reckless hero who causes lots of collateral damage but makes up for it by just trying really hard. Deep down he will feel unworthy and self-conscious. Local Himbo has internal turmoil and Does Not Deserve It. 5/10

Max: Would reject the Quirk outright and only accept it in the most dire of circumstances. Max does not want a messy complicated Quirk like One For All. Max likes simple and efficient, stuff he can manipulate from the get go. One For All is not simple. Give it to someone else. 0/10

(side note: while Max does not want One For All, Markov absolutely does, and finding a way to give Markov One For All would make for an interesting challenge. But Max still isn't taking it.)

Alix: Would politely decline taking it. Because she's already received it (and passed it on after engaging in brief shenanigans with it) in the future, and knows it is not her battle to fight in the present. Alix/10

Nathaniel: Please let this poor boy have some sleep. He is very tired and very angry and accepted the Quirk on impulse and really doesn't want to do this. Eventually manages to figure out his niche being a artist/spraypaint hero (Alix helps), and may or may not accidentally trigger the downfall of a corrupt government. 7/10

Lila: She obtained it under false pretenses and we are all doomed. There's a slim chance she'll do some hero work for the sake of her image, but like. The cons will definitely outweigh the pros. This was a mistake. 1/10

Luka: Accepted One For All during a time of great need, and knew the moment he received it that it was something Important. He puts on a front of being chill, but treats his work as a Hero with the utmost of seriousness and will do what has to be done. Like his sister, he would actively strive to not have a body count, but definitely would have one. 9/10

Kagami: She's a superhero with a sword. Awesomeness is the default. She will have no idea what she is doing but like. She has a sword. Stuff is getting done. 7/10

Marc: Look, you know Worm? You know Legend? One For All Marc would be like Legend except less hunk and more bishonen. The fangirls and fanboys will rejoice. Marc does not want all the attention, but he has it anyway. 6/10

Ondine: Kim accepts his role as the ultimate trophy boyfriend. Ondine would be competent, but she would also create even more collateral damage. 5/10

Aurore (New!): If there's one thing she knows, it's branding. She may not be known as a particularly powerful hero, but her branding would be top notch. When people figure out she's the latest successor she will OWN it and turn it into more branding. 5/10

Felix: Was likely offered One For All by someone who thought he was Adrien, and accepted it under that pretense. Would do a good job as a hero (and would give Adrien the credit in the process) but would figure out how to use all the Quirks very quickly and have a gig as a vigilante going on under a different identity, using different quirks to keep people in the dark. Very sus, Felix. You can be better than this. 2/10

Zoe: Look the populace would pick up on the fact that she's blonde and associated with America and immediately assume she's related to All Might. That's just going to happen. All Might will basically have to end up adopting her, if he's still around. She does not like this, but makes it work. 6/10

[penultimate-step]

One thing that interests me about Koyomi and Tsubasa's relationship, especially early on, is the contrast between how much they care about each other and how little they really understand each other. From their first meeting, their relationship begins with a complete lack of understanding.

All through Bake, Hanekawa is talked up extremely highly by Koyomi. In his eyes, she's the one who knows everything, the one who is always right. Her own catchphrase might be "I just know what I know," but this is in response to Araragi complimenting her about knowing everything. He rarely thinks that she can possibly be wrong - which makes it almost funny in retrospect to realize that he holds this opinion of her despite the fact that one of the first inferences he every sees her make is massively misreading his own issues.

In Kizu, spurred by the day's sense of melancholy and the sudden absurdity of Hanekawa's skirt situation, Koyomi briefly opens up and is emotionally honest with Hanekawa. (Given that we as readers learn most about him from internal narration, this is bigger than it seems: this is one of the moments when he shares the most about himself out loud to others in the whole series.) It's not his whole deal, not by a long shot, but he gets across the basics: his strained concept of the value of friendship and human connections, his sense of nihilism, and his desire not to have to live as a human: "I want to become a plant," he tells her, "so that I wouldn't have to talk or walk." Honestly I'm not sure what a good response is to someone you are only now having a first conversation with telling you all about his depression, but Hanekawa chooses to reject it. She tells him that normally people would dream of becoming something like a rock, but in his case, since plants are a form of life, "You still want to be a living thing." Subtextually: "You don't really want to kill yourself. You aren't suicidal." To this, Koyomi basically thinks, Huh, never thought about it like that. Maybe you're right. and moves on.

….20 pages later, Koyomi chooses to kill himself for Kiss-Shot's sake, stating, "There isn't a single reason for me to bother staying alive." Kizumonogatari is in large part about Araragi's suicidal depression. Hanekawa, I love you, but you misjudged this one.

Even at this early stage of their relationship, Hanekawa thinks highly of Koyomi, much more than he deserves. As such, when confronted with something she considers a weakness, like his supremely low self-worth, she tries to justify why this isn't actually a trait he has.

Much later, by the time of Neko White, she's gotten a better chance to get to know him and become familiar with his him as a person, including his flaws, enough that she and Senjougahara can list them for hours. But that doesn't necessarily mean she understands him or his motivations - because she cares for him so much, she ends up idealizing his bad traits and his personal weaknesses into charm points and strengths. She says at the book's start that she admires him because of his confidence in his own identity, describing him as a person who doesn't hesitate over questions of who he is as a person or what he should be and do moving forward and comparing herself unfavorably to her own lack of sense of identity.

Readers, having read his narration in Kizu and Neko Black know this is far from true; that he spends a huge amount of page count trying to reflect on where he stands in life. The climaxes of both those books are great examples. In Kizu, Koyomi has a huge internal crisis after seeing the death of Guillotine Cutter. He tells Hanekawa that he is unsure if he is human or monster, worrying even that he'll eat her. He is unsure if he is going to oppose Kiss-Shot or not. And on top of that, his own guilt is eating him alive, causing him to question the worth of all his actions in the book so far. There's no way that this can be called a man sure of who he is, and it is Tsubasa herself who snaps him out of it. He relies on her presence as a guide to move forward. She has first hand experience seeing him experience deep uncertainty as to what kind of person he wants to be, but her narration in Neko White claims the opposite - that his consistency and surety is a trait she admires. A similar kind of struggle happens in Neko Black's ending, though given her own stresses and struggles at the time its very understandable that she didn't catch this one. Time after time Tsubasa is the one to see Koyomi's doubts and greatest moments of weakness, but rather than harm her view of Araragi, if anything it seems to have raised her opinion of him. In her Neko White letter, she admires what she calls "confronting his own weaknesses." She talks about falling in love with him when she saw that he was crying as he saved Kiss-Shot, comparing it negatively to how she showed no emotion and smiles through both suffering and aid. She basically says this outright in the letter: to her, all of Araragi's flaws becomes positive. Moments of self-doubt become moments of self honesty, to cry while acting is to remain true to oneself, and so forth.

Not that Koyomi is a genius at understanding her, either. While he admires her, for most of Kizu a lot of whats going on between them is going on in his head - he's projecting his own issues onto her and he deals with her more as what she represents to him than an equal friend, as he will come to treat her later in Bake and beyond. Neko Black, taking place between these two points, shows him in the middle of this transition.

I feel like there's less to say on his side though, just because Neko Black is much more explicit about Koyomi's failure to understand Tsubasa than Kizu is for the reverse. When she feels obligated by friendship to tell Araragi about her struggles with her family, in a reversal of their first conversation from the start of Kizu, he has this to say about it:

Despite having been friends for a month by then he realizes he has still been seeing her more as an ideal than a person. However, his reaction here, in contrast to when the situation was flipped, also illustrates that his way of misunderstanding is subtly different from the way Hanekawa misunderstands him. Rather than a direct dismissal, Koyomi, while originally ignorant, does come around to understanding What Tsubasa will do. However, he does this while blocking out any understanding of Why she would act like this. He can grasp the actions and emotions, but not the underlying causes.

As an example, near the end of Neko Black, after Koyomi has had some time to internalize his new understanding of Hanekawa, he is able to predict her words to her father before Meme tells him, then later develops a plan to deal with the Cat based around predicting her actions well in advance, first luring her out and then baiting her into attacking him. However, despite all this, he seems to have no knowledge, or perhaps is intentionally blocking out, the motivations behind her actions. Theres a reason she calls him "the worst" when he offers to give his time and energy to deal with her stress. (And much like when he healed her injury earlier, this is him dealing with symptoms rather than the true problem.) Because he's totally misjudging what she actually wants.

A similar pattern can be seen in the Cat chapter of Bake, when he first sees the cat. He realizes this means she's stressed, and can guess at how this will make her act and that things might get dangerous, but has no idea what set her off this time, not until the Cat tells him outright why things got to this point.

Koyomi views Hanekawa so highly, almost like she is incapable of making mistakes, despite having personal experience from the get go that she is very capable of making mistakes and that sometimes her inferences are wrong, and that she is often wrong about him, specifically. Hanekawa is wrong about Koyomi because she does the same thing, and views him so highly that she dismisses and glosses over his faults that she has seen personally. Together, they both consistently fail to understand each other because they place the other on a pedestal without meaning to. And yet, the book is clear that despite this gap in understanding, the friendship is no less for it. The care between the two is real, as is the effort they take in each other's lives.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

But what if we wanna do the dirty dirty with another man, or even with yandere big bro himself, does he say "no" politely? Is he shocked? Does he go feral? Does he spiral? I want to see him spiral.

TW: reader cheatingz, mentions of incest, grooming, violence

Depending on what was agreed between the two of you, the rules on that can be very lax. Usually, people don't discuss their bedroom activities with someone in the family. Quite uncommon to hear sons describing how their girlfriends want them to moan in the bedroom, to their mothers and daughters mentioning that their boyfriends have them in a mating press to their fathers. The same goes with Yves. If you don't agree to be romantically involved, he will instantly assume a role similar to a guardian. It will feel weird telling Yves you want to have sex with another person. It will feel just like telling your parents or your siblings about it.

It doesn't mean Yves won't know about your desires. He just has no intention of ever discussing your private tendencies unless it is regarding your safety.

If you go ahead and tell him (while he isn't your boyfriend/husband), his reactions depend on your intentions. Yves will sit you down and talk about sexual safety and assure you that he will support you no matter what happens, this is if you're telling him because you're unsure, scared, or feeling forced by your partner. He will offer to talk to your partner privately, to come to a 'compromise'. Regardless of whether you accepted or rejected his help, he will have a meeting with them anyway. No way in hell is Yves letting anyone hurt his precious darling.

If your intent was to spite him or just to see what he would do, Yves will give you a spine-chilling stare before bluntly asking what your motive is. He knows. He absolutely knows. Yves just wants to see you squirm in discomfort just like how you wanted him to. He will keep grilling you until you shy away from embarrassment and apologize to him with a level of sincerity he expects.

If you're telling him nonchalantly, like this is a topic as mundane as the weather, Yves will state that this isn't a comfortable subject to him; as well as to a lot of people. He wouldn't cast judgment, Yves would set a boundary with you and explain how speaking about such matters to strangers, friends or family could be inappropriate. Parenting you, in a way.

Regardless of your aim, mentioning that you carnally desire your own older brother would get an entirely different response. You were groomed and he knows that this is a delicate situation, he cannot simply scold some sense into you, it must be a combination of compassion and self-realization on your part. Yves would choose his words, tone, and body language very carefully before asking questions with increasing levels of specificity, to try and drive you to see it from his perspective; or anybody else's lens, just not yours or your brother's. Needless to say, he will be paying a visit to your brother soon with a vial of some mysterious substance tucked in his sleeve.

The situation changes entirely if you are in a relationship together. Yves is strictly monogamous, he will make sure you understand he doesn't want you to bring up the idea of polyamory later in the relationship. But, if he predicts that you cannot keep your hands off other people and he isn't fulfilling enough for you that you have to cheat, Yves will automatically fill a platonic position in your life instead. He will be the closest to you, but he will not be your Husband, boyfriend, or even a fling. Yves will even reject your love confession if you ever happen to have one.

Yet, he is a constant presence in your life. It is undeniable how much he meddles with your marriage. Just like previous posts described, he is a true monster in law to your partner(s).

However, if you manage to bypass all his oracle-like forecasts and commit adultery with another person long after you and he agree to keep the intimate connection only between the both of you, his composure will have a fissure. He wouldn't be overly explosive, but he will absolutely traumatize you with tears running down his cheeks. Yves almost never cries genuine tears outside of his manipulative tricks, but you will see true pain leaking out of his eyes when you betray him like this. It will take a very long time until you get to have your freedom back, you will be a witness to a brutal murder after all, he can't have you running around with that loudmouth of yours. Neither will he trust you to remain celibate for him without his active intervention.

This is one of the few ways that will lead Yves to reveal his information vault to you. Expect him to be a lot more restrictive and controlling than ever, divorce or separation is not an option at all. It will be the first time Yves will force you to be in a condition without being discrete or tactful about it, he will finally put himself first.

The consequences are less severe if you merely suggest doing it. Yves will be calm and collected, crossing his legs and gracefully resting his hands on his lap. Inviting you to talk about it further, discussing your intent and disrespect towards him, he will be giving you the benefit of the doubt. So use this opportunity to either back down, present your case, or ask for help. His actions and words seem poised and peaceful, but the tears dripping down his eyelashes tell you otherwise. Maybe he isn't noticing that he's crying, too focused on pulling the cracks of his control together; He never once brought a hand up to wipe them away, blurring his vision and ruining his expensive coat.

Humans cannot control how they feel, they cannot control what they think most of the time; and Yves understands that, he was human once after all. He will help you through it if you're saying such hurtful things to him to release and eradicate unwanted degenerate thoughts. Almost everything will return back to normal once the issue is dealt with.

Yves will be colder, and more distant for a few months, yet he will be around you much more. He is still deeply ruined and would weep to himself several nights, he needs to update his database too with anything he can observe, anything he can record. Everything and anything to correct this major oversight, it affects him so much that he cannot trust you and his logic.

If it's the other possibility where you simply want to see how he will react, if it's a show you want, then a show you shall get. You will feel the pain you unnecessarily inflicted on him, you will realize that you get back what you put out in the world, and you will learn that if you play stupid games you win stupid prizes.

You will learn that Yves is not someone to be fucked with. You will soon discover that he has been nothing but a saint to you, how lucky you were to never have seen this side of him, you only saw the most merciful and considerate Yves.

Don't forget, he has an almost complete collection of what makes you cower and whimper in fear. All your traumas, even genetic from ancestors that you never met. Yves can easily utilize and expand that list by a vast number. Do not test his patience.

[2and2makes5]

Media Analysis: A Place Further Than The Universe (Eps 6,9,10,12)

The later episodes of this series begin to dive deeper and expand more on the relationships between the main characters. As the girls arrive in Singapore, continuing their expedition towards Antarctica, challenges of logistics and financial burden are prevalent, emphasizing the economic barriers that individuals face while attempting to achieve outstanding goals. This episode also demonstrates themes of cultural globalization, where the protagonists navigate through an unfamiliar setting and adapt to basically a new world. However, just like how Haber attempts to critique, tourism as a whole has dwindled down to the entertainment value, rather than the raw human experience of witnessing other cultures. This shows how capitalism has systematically shaped tourism into more of a market-driven activity.

Shirase's overall drive to reach Antarctica is a metaphor for resisting capitalism's dehumanizing effects. Her journey isn't motivated by some materialistic gain but by a deep-rooted urge for connection and closure. This adds to my previous post about the liberating effects of rejecting capitalism, where to achieve true emancipation is to reject the reduction of human aspirations to economic transactions. Shirase's plot in A Place Further than the Universe highlights the importance of prioritizing human connections and emotional fulfillment over material gain.

Finally, as the main characters reach Antarctica, the geographical equivalent of remotless, liberation from social constraints, there is a heightened power of collaboration and mutual support that opposes the isolating effects of capitalism. The characters find true freedom in the isolating landscape of Antarctica that capitalism often denies. Antarctica is portrayed as an unspoken, uncommodified beautiful place where no such marketability is occurring, only research, human resilience, and, well, deep emotional discovery (in the context of this anime). There is something here for all four of the girls: Shirase’s need for closure with her mother, Mari’s desire to break free from her mundane life, Hinata’s search for self-worth outside of just competition, and Yuzuki’s longing for genuine friendship.

Overall a very sweet anime!

[sun-in-retrograde]

Lilith Opposite Eris - Everything is fine. STOP SAYING EVERYTHING ISN'T FINE!

So I’ve been thinking a lot about Lilith - the point in the Moon's orbit that’s furthest from the Earth. Long story short for those who don’t know - Lilith is calculated in two ways which astrologers generally call Mean, and True. Despite these names there’s no true way to calculate it - both are valid. I tend to use Mean for Personal Reasons.

No, I can’t just leave it at that. I use Mean because I did some digging on the chart of the first person to use Lilith and looked at correlations between where he calculated it was, and where it actually was and the mean calculation was really intensely apt, and it just generally seems to work better for me. Your mileage may vary but sometimes in astrology you have to make a call on something or become obsessed with how vast and confusing the universe is.

Mean or True, Lilith is in Libra. One way to think about Lilith in Libra that I quite like is to think about obsessive peacekeeping. Being on your last nerve and still trying to be friendly when maybe you shouldn’t be. It’s in the nature of Lilith that emotions related to it are imbalanced and aggressive. It can lead to absolutely obsessive behaviour, or an outright rejection of that energy at all. Sometimes both. Someone who obsessively tries to keep the peace and keep things nice can flip and suddenly not be able to handle this at all.

Right now, Eris is pretty much exactly opposite Lilith, and this makes sense to me. The opposition reached 3 degrees on 8 January and will remain so until 5 March. Eris is a Dwarf planet that's almost exactly the size of Pluto. The difference is, Pluto has a big moon to go with it. So, Eris is, to my mind, the best candidate for something with Astrological meaning that's smaller than Pluto. This includes Chiron. It's just a shame we're still learning about it.

One important key phrase I use with it is that Eris is the immovable object. What happens when someone with immovable views negotiates with people who are obsessively keeping the peace? What happens when someone is obsessed with keeping the peace to the extent that they are immovably commited to believing that things are fine?

Eris is pretty damn near conjunct my sun and I noticed this aspect in my personal life first. But I think it maps well to world affairs. We have Democrats dancing in their meetings, we have Keir Starmer negotiating with Trump to keep Britain out of a trade war as though Trump is doing normal politics. Innuendo Studios video on at what point America has crossed the Rubicon into tyranny captures some of the mood I'm seeing. Things look grim but there's a strong motivation to see things as somewhat normal, or to try to make peace with the new world - for instance here in the UK we have politicians like the Health Minister talking about the dangers of anti-whiteness and society not doing enough to cater to white men. Trying to meet MAGA halfway.

The last Conjunction of Lilith and Eris was in Aries in August to September 2020, when Trump was formulating the ideas that would lead to him taking the pretty unprecedented act of trying to overturn an election result in the way he did. He announced his reelection in November 2022 during the square. The next square is April to June 2027 with Lilith in Capricorn so note your diaries.

On a personal level, this is a tough aspect. I'm looking at Venus because it rules Libra. My Venus is in Taurus so I'm resting and trying to find calm in comfort and pleasure. The Aspect will continue within 3 degrees till 5 March. All that time, Venus is in Aries. Ultimately this is making me think that action is a great form of self care for now. Activism can be a necessary part of self care. It allows you to focus on trying to make changes in a sea of news, it connects you with friends, it builds support networks, also, doing stuff can frankly feel good. I mean, take care of yourself and others but if you're feeling this aspect, consider it